No, I am not talking about the hit song from Disney's Frozen (cute movie by the way), but talking about trying to CONTROL it all!! Trying to make things happen, make everyone get along, having that neat tidy perfect life that you dream of, and only see it on those golden day TV re-runs. LOVE The Andy Griffith show!
Isn't it relieving that GOD does not ask us to be perfect? He accepts us for our faults and shortcomings. He loves us no matter what we have done in life or continue to do. We all fall short to the glory of GOD and are sinners (Romans 3:23). The only way we are perfect is in HIM! Dying to self, putting our dreams aside to live in reality and not miss the life that is happening right now in the moments. I have been caught in a TRAP that I should do this, and not do that. That I am not a Christian because I desire earthly things, to not live, "enjoy life" now because I am saving up for the future, for when my dreams are a reality. I was believing that this was all coming from the LORD. (The WORD tells us that: "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."-John 10:10) That is the truth! Jesus came so that we may live a life full of peace and abundance!
I was being deceived by the enemy! He knows my past and how to use it to distract me and draw me away from the LORD. I was so caught up in "this is it, it's going to happen, your time has come!" BUT, was I really serving the LORD? Was I being obedient to his word and calling? GOD knows the desires of my heart, and he keeps his promises. I do believe that one day my dreams will come true. Some already have! Being a mommy and to be able to stay home and raise my kids.
WOW! GOD is speaking to me and my heart! During this season of my "FROZEN" life, the bible verse Luke 16:10 popped up in so many places! I couldn't avoid it! It was on pinterest, fb posts, and daily devotions. So, being curious and thinking "here's your sign", I read the scripture and it pierced my heart:
Luke 16 10-12 10 “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. 11 So if you have not been trustworthy in handling worldly wealth, who will trust you with true riches? 12 And if you have not been trustworthy with someone else’s property, who will give you property of your own?"
How can GOD give me anymore when I haven't learned to live for the now. Don't get me wrong I am grateful for the LORD's blessings, I praise him and thank him. I was neglecting my responsibilities, and comparing myself to others, putting myself in grief and despair.
Oh what a blessing to have friends! I was hitting rock bottom, ready to give up...no life left in me. How do I know it's the LORD talking to me and not my own desires. Then one day, my answer came! A church friend who doesn't really know me, I have never opened up to her, calls me the same day I opened the Bible and asked GOD to lead me..."LORD, I am letting Go, lead me." Our visit was from the LORD. She called me and said, "The LORD placed it on my heart to call you today, he wants you to know that HIS heart is breaking for what breaks yours. This will pass. He wants me to pray for you." Yep, tears were flowing, my heart was opened and felt like a HUGE boulder was lifted off of my chest. How did SHE know what was going on, that I was in such a season of grief and confusion? The answer, GOD!! He knows his children, he will call them by name! He knows my pain, and wants to help me! "Take it, I am letting go!"
PRAISE GOD!! So, I'm not crazy! It is okay to dream and not give up on them. BUT, it is wrong to live for something that I am missing out on life now, and not truly asking HIM to lead me! I look as this season as my training field. Learning and growing, make mistakes but not live in the them.
Those moments of giving up, feeling like life is over, that your dreams will not come true because of "life" just not going the way you planned or hoped for,
remember this:
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
before you were born I set you apart;
I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” -Jeremiah 1:5
Live for TODAY, LOVE like tomorrow will never come, forgive and LET IT GO!!
Don't loose hope!
